The Struggle Is Real: How I Chose A Career As A Young Adult

Hey there, and welcome to my first post of a personal favorite category, Growing Pains, where I tell you all about the struggles I've come across in my Adulting journey and how I got through them!

So, you either know or you don't, right? Or you think you know, but then you realize you actually don't. Choosing a career path was TERRIFYING for me. Everything seemed so set in stone and official, all my friends seemed to know exactly who and what they wanted to be. For me, choosing a college and career pathway was step (or rather, "stumble") one into the Adulting world.

Immediately upon graduating high school I assumed I would now be trucking through my freshman year of college at Scottsdale Community College, fueled by Monster Energy drinks and copious amounts of espresso in pursuit of a Masters in Music Education.

But, it happens. Senior year Alexandra was wrong…

Given that I had spent my high school years practicing endlessly for auditions and concerts on clarinet, learning piano specifically to better understand scales, and coming home from a long day of studying for my classes just to spend another several hours running through etudes and practicing finger speed exercises, I figured becoming a high school band director was the best way to put my passion for music into practice for the rest of my life.

But my perfectionistic attitude towards music was insanely damaging to the stressed and insecure high schooler I was. Attempting to cope with my deteriorating health due to my six year battle with bulimia nervosa, as well as balancing the demands of auditions, performances, practice, and lessons, I inevitably burned out.

After numerous failed attempts to recover from the damage I caused to my body, I decided I needed to cut music out of my life temporarily in order to properly heal and restore my health. I spent several months stepping away, and it hurt to feel like I was letting down my mentors every time I passed up an audition or a performance opportunity. I felt like a failure, and like I had passed up a chance at the future I was looking forward to for so many years. But I knew I needed to put my health first.

I’m proud to say that I am now 8 months recovered from bulimia, and the happiest and healthiest I’ve been in a long time.

I went back to music when I felt I was strong enough, (you’d be surprised at how physically demanding wind instruments are when playing!) and music has since become only a hobby. I suppose then it just hit me one day that I don’t have to extend my passion into only one thing. I’ve always had a desire to help people, but I ruled out becoming a doctor or a psychologist from the start because it’s just such a long educational pathway. I was willing to pursue a Masters degree to become a dietician throughout most of high school. I wanted to help eating disorder patients like myself, however I knew it would be too risky to immerse myself in nutrition and diet facts immediately upon recovering.

My dad kept encouraging me to pursue nursing. “It’s only two years,” He would tell me. “You’ll have a good job, and not too much school.” But it was all in vain. (Sorry, Dad…) It just didn’t click. Despite the immense respect I have for those in healthcare, I couldn’t see myself as a nurse.

It wasn’t until one day I was on a drive with my sister, and she stopped for gas. A fire engine pulled into the gas station, and a small woman, about my height (I’m 5 ‘0 – go short folks!) appeared from the engine. She was in her turnout gear, smiling, she looked so strong and tough, and… happy? I never imagined myself as a woman in fire, but upon seeing her I was just so inspired. Corny as it sounds, it hit me that I can be so much more than I ever thought I could be.

I immediately began looking into the requirements to join the Phoenix Police Department. I still have some time before I can consider applying to become a police officer as I have yet to reach the minimum age requirement, but the idea is still lingering in the back of my mind.

Ultimately, I decided to join the Paradise Valley Community College EMT program, where I’ve met so many incredible people within the fire, PD, and medic community. I’m currently studying for my National Registry Exam to earn my EMT certification, as well as looking for work in healthcare in preparation to apply for the Paradise Valley Community College paramedic program. 

It’s definitely been a confusing and odd journey, and now I’m going down a path I never would have considered. But this has honestly been the greatest choice I’ve ever made. I’m so excited to begin working in my field and continue connecting with all the remarkable men and women in fire and paramedicine, and I’m confident I have a fruitful journey ahead.

You can do this!

Alexandra